


We're Safe, Darling

by InfernallyYours



Category: The Bane Chronicles - Sarah Rees Brennan & Cassandra Clare & Maureen Johnson, The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Comforting Alec, Comforting Magnus Bane, Demon Realms Suck, Demons, Fear of Death, Flashbacks, Fluff, My First Fanfic, Nightmares, Protectiveness, Really Trying Here, Romantic Fluff, Self Confidence Issues, Sorry About Terrible Tagging
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-20
Updated: 2018-11-30
Packaged: 2019-08-26 15:02:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16683835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InfernallyYours/pseuds/InfernallyYours
Summary: Alec has been having nightmares about their time in the Demon Realm from book 6, City of Heavenly Fire, and Magnus is trying to comfort him and make him feel better after a long day at work.WARNING: This fic includes angst, and may be triggering for those who have issues with breakdowns, mentions of death, nightmares, and flashbacks. Please be careful reading.





	1. Chapter 1

Magnus Bane was rather proud of many things. Among them was his refusal to ever look anything less than fabulous, his unique ability to massively overcharge people, particularly Nephilim, for his simple services, and his Scrabble champion title. One of the things he prided himself the most on however was his ability to always be in control of a situation. Particularly when that situation involved gorgeous, blue-eyed Shadowhunters. Especially when said Shadowhunters were in his bedroom. Which was why Magnus was so surprised to find Alec Lightwood grabbing him the moment he walked through the door after a particularly rough and client-filled day and kissing him senseless before he’d even managed to finish saying “I’m home,” or hang up his black velvet suit jacket.

When Alec finally pulled back to let him breathe, Magnus gasped for air and tried to look at his boyfriend to see why he had been romantically jumped in his own doorway (which was rather difficult when Alec was still kissing up and down his throat, thus turning his bones to pure mush). Outwardly, Alec looked like the same beautiful boy he always was-rumpled black hair, startling blue eyes, lithe figure, wearing a plain black t-shirt (probably of Magnus’s), and a pair of sloppy jeans (definitely of his). But there were certain signs only Magnus would have picked up on that indicated a difference in Alec. The shadows that had finally begun to disappear from beneath Alec’s shocking eyes had returned. His hair was sticking up and behaving as though it had been combed through countless times in frustration or worry. Alec’s hands were tightly gripping Magnus’s waist, tighter than he probably meant to. Alec had warrior’s hands; of course they were strong, they had to be when one fought demons on a daily basis, but he was always so carefully aware of it when he wasn’t fighting that him clinging to Magnus this tightly was highly unusual.

With noticeable effort and great will power, Magnus managed to put his hands on Alec’s chest and gently push him off. Alec immediately pulled back and looked down at the floor. His raven hair fell forward, blocking his face; he must have forgot to cut it recently. Another sign-Alec almost always kept his hair short, it was better for when he was in battle, not to have to keep flicking his hair out of his eyes. He had tried to let it grow out after Magnus had mentioned preferring it longer, but he’d quickly changed his tune when it nearly got him killed once when he couldn’t see a demon fast enough because of it being in his eyes. Magnus was aching to just pull back his hands, just to give in and lose himself in the taste of Alec. But Alec would never let Magnus use him to ignore his pain. He would find out whatever it was and charge it head on so that Magnus wouldn’t have to ache anymore. Alec wouldn’t have let Magnus use him to forget-so (unfortunately) Magnus wouldn’t let Alec either.

Alec continued staring at the ground, but his hands still gripped Magnus’s hips urgently. Magnus felt a pang of sorrow at seeing Alec looking so helpless and despairing. He wanted to take away all of that unhappiness, wanted to drain it out of him and pull the weight off of Alec’s shoulders, even if it meant taking it all upon himself. He would gladly become Alec’s personal Atlas and carry the weight of the whole sky, if only it meant that Alec wouldn’t have to bear it and could smile his light-up-the-world smile again.

Gently, Magnus traced a bejeweled finger down Alec’s smooth cheek until he found the edge of his chin, which he then hooked his finger beneath. Alec resisted, and ducked his head even lower until it almost leaned against Magnus’s chest. He let out a suspiciously wobbly sigh and squeezed Magnus’s waist even tighter.

“Alec?” Magnus whispered, watching Alec closely. “Can you look at me, darling?”

Alec shook his head minutely and kept looking firmly down. Magnus moved his hand to cup Alec’s cheek and brushed his thumb over Alec’s sharp cheekbones. Alec shuddered lightly, and something similar to a whimper escaped him. Magnus’s heart broke.

“Alexander? Come now, let me see your eyes. You know they are the most beautiful thing I see all day. You know you are the most beautiful thing I see all day.” Magnus was getting worried the longer Alec wouldn’t look at him. As Alec and Magnus’s relationship had progressed, Magnus had discovered that Alec had nearly no filter over his feelings. Alec knew this and as a result, tended to physically hide himself when he was feeling something he didn’t want others noticing. Magnus had tried to explain countless times that he didn’t need to hide, to just tell him when something was wrong. It was obviously still a work in progress.

“Alexander...please darling, let me see you. Let me help you.” Magnus whispered, dropping his head to lightly knock against Alec’s. He closed his eyes and wrapped his free arm around Alec’s waist, and hoped.

Apparently, that was what had been needed. Magnus felt Alec’s head move against his own, and quickly opened his eyes to see Alec’s perfect blue eyes filled with tears.

“Oh, Alexander…” Magnus murmured, feeling his own eyes tear up. Alec let out a choked sounding “Magnus”, and fell against him with tears pouring down his face. Magnus pulled him close and brushed away the tears with shaking fingers, all while murmuring soothing noises and hugging him tightly to his chest. A few times, Alec tried to gasp out something in between his quiet sobs, but Magnus continually shushed him and kept brushing his tears and his hair with extreme gentleness.

Eventually, Alec had no more tears and simply stood, shaking, in the safety of Magnus’s strong arms. His face was pressed into Magnus’s silky button-down shirt, which now was decorated with a large wet stain that wasn’t the most comfortable thing in the world to be wearing. Magnus felt tears of his own running silently down his face as he looked at his sad and broken Shadowhunter, but hid his face in his shoulder before Alec could hear. He felt Alec lift his head from against his chest, and felt soft, shaking fingers brushing away his tears tenderly. Magnus turned his face back to his boyfriend and looked at his tear-streaked face with mournful green-gold eyes.

Finally Alec’s fingers slowed and then stopped, his fingers covering Magnus’s cheeks, pale alabaster vs. golden tan. Magnus ever so gently leaned down, keeping Alec’s hands on his face, and his hand on Alec’s until their foreheads pressed together. Magnus’s other arm was an iron band around Alec’s waist, keeping him firmly where he was. Not that he would have wanted to be anywhere else. A few tears still balanced on the tips of Magnus’s lashes, and his breath was still slightly hiccupy.

“Alexander...” Magnus breathed, his slitted cat eyes locked onto Alec’s blues. He wasn’t simply saying Alec’s name, and he knew Alec knew it as well. Worry and pain, confusion and concern, all bled like watercolor through the single syllable. Magnus watched his Shadowhunter’s eyes lower in embarrassment and felt his already fracturing heart bruise a little bit more. Not for the first time, he wanted to shake the whole Shadowhunter society until they became reasonable, instead of teaching young Nephilim like Alec that they couldn’t show any weakness, had to hold back any emotion, any thoughts that didn’t align with the Clave or the Law. Why? he thought. Why can’t it just be easy? Why can’t it just be simple, just once, for us? For him?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec opens up to Magnus about what has been bothering him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this took longer than I was expecting, life decided I wasn't busy enough and tossed me a boatload of crap to do. Hope you enjoy!

“Alec...Please. What’s wrong? I know I look a mess after today’s clients, but I didn’t think it was worth crying over.” Magnus attempted to joke, but was betrayed by the concern in his cat-eyes and how his voice broke on the word ‘mess’. He felt so completely heartbroken, by the sadness Alec clearly felt and how it obviously had something to do with him.

“Is it...is it the nightmares again?” Magnus tentatively asked. After the Dark War, Alec had been plagued by horrible nightmares for weeks. Every night, Magnus would wake up (if he’d been able to fall asleep at all, that is) hearing Alec screaming beside him, thrashing around at foes only he could see. He’d call for Izzy, for Jace, sometimes even Clary, but mostly for Magnus. Magnus would hold onto him and keep him from flailing and hurting himself. He’d beg him to wake up and brush his hair, sometimes even magic him back to sleep, but nothing worked, not long-term anyway. Sometimes Alec would tell Magnus what he’d dreamed-armies of demons killing everyone in Alicante, his family being turned by the Mortal Cup, being locked in the demon realm forever. Other times, he’d just cling to Magnus like he’d lose him if he let go, grip him until the sun came up, and he had to go work at the Institute, like nothing was wrong, like he was perfectly fine and not functioning on two hours of sleep per week.

Magnus rarely slept during that time, choosing instead to softly sing to Alec or just cuddle him. He had to admit, those nights of sleeplessness had scared him almost as much as his time in his father’s hell had.

Thankfully, it had been almost three weeks since Alec had had a nightmare that bad. Magnus had even begun to hope they were gone for good. Alec sighed and shook his head again. Magnus waited patiently, glimmering eyes never leaving Alec’s face.

“You...You know that hunting trip Izzy, Jace, Clary, and I went on? Earlier this week?” Alec whispered, his voice weak and rough from disuse and tears. He continued to look at Magnus’s shoes, seeming to find it easier to talk to them rather than Magnus’s face.

Magnus nodded and Alec’s eyes flickered up to his face before going on down. He took a deep breath and continued. “The demon we sent to look for, it wasn’t your normal, quick and easy thing. This demon had been alluding the other Shadowhunters of surrounding cities for a week or so before fleeing here. Clary portaled us to its last known location and we split up to look for it - Clary and Izzy, me and Jace.

“Jace and I found it first. Jace being Jace, the idiot that he is, charged it head on, while I tried to distract it. The minute Jace got within striking distance, it looked at him. It was a big blob-like thing, completely black, but shimmery like oil or something, with one big, icy blue eye that rolled around inside of it freely. When it looked at Jace, he just froze. Magnus, he was mid-swing, just feet away from it, and he looked like a statue.

“Of course, I did the most idiotic thing I could have done and ran straight to him, totally ignoring the demon at my back, not calling Izzy or Clary for backup, just rushing to get Jace out of there. I tried to get his attention, to even look at me, but he was a thousand miles away. Luckily, the blob was distracted by something in another alley, so I had enough time to drag Jace out of harm’s way. He was acting weird, muttering things under his breath and his eyes were darting around. I made sure he wasn’t hurt too badly, then I called Clary and Izzy to our location.

“The blob had dealt with whatever it was in the alley and was coming for us, so I tried to lure it away from Jace before he could get hurt. I ran around it and forced it to follow me by shooting some arrows, but nothing really hurt it. After seeing what happened to Jace, I was trying to keep my distance, but it just kept absorbed my arrows, like they were nothing. So I went closer, trying to make a plan, trying to think of anything that might hurt this thing. Somehow, I ended up getting a little too close, and it turned and looked at me with that huge, creepy eye of its. And then...I wasn’t there anymore. I mean, physically, yeah, I was still there, probably looking just how Jace had. But in my head…”

Alec trailed off, his face becoming pained, like the memory was actually hurting him. Magnus gently tugged Alec’s arm as he sank to the floor. His back and legs popped, and a low groan rumbled out of him. His beautifully styled black hair scattered across his forehead and he settled his head against the wall behind with his eyes shut. He spread his long legs wide and patted the space between them, still keeping his eyes shut as he did so. Alec slowly crouched and arranged himself so his back was against Magnus’s back, his head resting on Magnus’s collarbone, and their feet tangled together. Magnus wrapped his arms around Alec’s waist again and settled his chin on top of Alec’s head.

“But in your head…?” Magnus reminded him, his voice both vibrating through the air and through his chest. Alec took a deep breath and picked up his story.

“But in my head, I was back in Sebastian’s fortress. Izzy and I were running through the halls, still searching for the dungeons.”

“Still searching for me…”, Magnus whispered, aching sadness and guilt welling up in him and bleeding through his words. “Still searching for you,” Alec agreed, with a slight edge to his voice indicating he’d noticed the guilt in his boyfriend’s voice and was not happy about it. “Izzy found it first, and called me over. I ran over as quickly, and quite literally kicked down the door. I burst in and-” Alec’s voice broke and his throat closed up with new tears. A small sob escaped him and he covered his mouth with one hand while gripping Magnus’s hand with his other tight enough to turn his knuckles white.

“I don’t understand,” Magnus said slowly. “This is the part where you save me. Why are you crying darling?”

“Because Magnus-! Magnus, when-when I burst in, y-you were...you were de-ead. I was t-too late. You were...you’d died Magnus.” Alec finally managed to get out, then he dissolved into a new round of tears, curled into a ball against Magnus’s chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading, it means a lot! Please leave comments below, I really want to know what you guys think! Thank you for everyone who gave me kudos, I am so glad you liked it so much!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec gets the reassurance he needs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the ending is kinda short, but I feel like if I'd kept going it would have been forced and generally gross. Hope you enjoy guys, and a special shout-out to sznups, for the lovely words of encouragement and support! You rock!

Magnus sat totally still for a moment. The thought of him dying was not a new one-he’d done too much in his long life for him not to have considered his death repeatedly. It wasn’t even the thought of him dying in that specific way that shook him so deeply-he’d truly believed he was going to die there, as his father sapped his magic and he rotted away in that cell. No, it was the fact that  _ Alec  _ had seen him dead, and that  _ Alec  _ was suffering so much from it. 

With minimal difficulty, Magnus managed to force Alec around so they were face-to-face. Alec was still a wreck, tears streaking down his face and sobs shaking his entire body. Magnus took Alec’s hands in his and stared intently into his lovely blue eyes. 

“Alexander. Look at me.  _ I am not dead.  _ You did not lose me. You were not too late. You  _ saved  _ me.” He said all this slowly and precisely, like he was talking to a particularly dense child. Alec looked back at him like he was speaking in Chinese (It was actually a rather adorable look on the Shadowhunter, but Magnus couldn’t take the time to appreciate it when Alec was still so distressed.) Magnus growled and yanked one of Alec’s hands to his chest, right above his heart where Alec could feel it’s steady beating.

“Alexander! Listen to me!  _ That was not real.  _ I am right here, fully well and alright. Can’t you feel that? That’s proof; dead men, rather warlocks, don’t have beating hearts.  _ But I do.  _ My heart is still beating and it’s going to stay that way, all thanks to you, Alexander.  _ You saved me, Alec.” _

“But it might not have happened that way Magnus! I was so close to being too late, so close to-to losing you. What if I had made a wrong turn, or if I had been a few steps slower? Or what if next time-”

“Next time? You make me sound like I’m some princess locked in an endless cycle of being kidnapped by random princes who wish to steal my virtue!”

“-I can’t find you? Or you’re hurt more than just physically? What if you’re poisoned? Or possessed? Or someone steals your memories, and you don’t remember me? Or they steal your magic and  _ then  _ hurt you, and I can’t find you, and you’re dying andbytheAngelwhatif-”

Magnus cut off Alec’s panicked ramble with a kiss. When he pulled back, he tasted Alec’s tears on his lips. Alec looked at him desperately, blue eyes wide and wanting and so so worried it broke Magnus’s already broken heart. Alec ran his fingers through Magnus’s hair slowly, like he was trying to reassure himself that he was really there. Magnus smiled a bit and kissed him again, trying to convey physically what clearly wasn’t working verbally. When the two separated again, Alec moved his hands from Magnus’s hair down, down past his shoulders and chest, to rest on his waist. Magnus gave him a look of  _ Whatever you want, darling,  _ and Alec laid back, pulling Magnus on top of him as he went. Magnus rested his forearms on either side of Alec, and lowered himself until every part of him felt every part of Alec, without crushing him beneath his full weight. Alec’s fingers rucked up the hem of Magnus’s shirt and traced the skin under it, slowly working their way up until Magnus was shrugging off the shirt and Alec was sliding his cool hands all over Magnus’s chest. 

“Magnus?” Alec asked quietly, avoiding the warlock’s eyes, as his hands continued to trace aimless paths across the warlock’s torso. 

“Alec?”

“Can you..can you promise me something?”

Magnus paused right before saying  _ Anything.  _ He wanted give his Shadowhunter the world, anything he wanted, but he couldn’t help but recall that period of time when Alec had fallen prey to Camille. Instead he responded with, “That depends, I suppose, on what you want me to promise.”

Alec wrapped his arms around Magnus’s waist and buried his head in the crook of his neck. “Promise me you won’t leave. Promise me you’ll stay with me.”

Magnus sighed. He turned his head towards Alec’s, and breathed in the scent of him. Sandalwood shampoo, underlied with sweat, and a scent that had no name but was simply Alec. He closed his eyes and exhaled again.

“My Alexander. Darling, I’m here. I’m here, and you’re here, and we’re safe.”

**Author's Note:**

> Eeeek, yeah, this is my first fic, please leave me any comments below guys. I would love feedback and your thoughts, but please leave trolls at the front door. Sorry for any typos or other mistakes, this wasn't beta read.


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